thelingerieaddict:

I just shared this story on Twitter. It’s something I’ve been turning over in the back of my mind for a few days, and I felt like it was important to share.

The reaction from a lot of people has been to reduce this experience to “one bad individual,” and while the person who left those comments was certainly not a nice person, I think reducing instances like this to one-off occurrences (they’re not) is part of how and why they persist.

The belief that black women are inherently unattractive (and even subhuman) is not a unique or uncommon point of view. One only needs to look at how the fashion world treats black women to see that. While what happened to me was an extreme example, it’s also a logical outcome, a part of the continuum of how black women’s beauty is regarded in society at large.

We are on the fringes, the margins. Our features, our bodies, our hair are not only viewed as inadequate but as not even worth addressing in broader conversations on beauty standards (something I’ve discussed in terms of how it relates to my niche - lingerie - here, here, and here).

Like I said, I’m not bothered by those comments. I haven’t internalized them and made them a part of my being. But I do think they illustrate some larger social issues, and they have absolutely coalesced and reinforced my own perspective on the importance of diversity and representation, and how we approach it, on my own blog.

(via bringinglexiback)

1. Girls Shalt Not Have Sex.
(someone asked me what the guy word for ‘slut’ is
and I couldn’t find an answer.
it’s an old story: a rumour goes around that so-and-so
blew a boy in the disabled toilets.
the girl fakes a cough to get herself sent home
to escape the classroom-wide hiss of ‘slut’
while the boy she blew walks into the same class
and is greeted by an onslaught of high-fives)

2. Girls Shalt Love Boys.
(when I was ten, there was a movie trailer where two girls
leaned in for a kiss, and I felt sick for the rest of the day.
it took four years
along with faux-casual questions to friends
useless quizzes on the internet
entries in a diary that I later scribbled out
to admit, fine, okay, yes,
and another year after that to say it without mumbling)

3. Girls Shalt Not Be Bitches.
(it took over ten years of school for me to realize
my women teachers got called bitches
for doing things that my male teachers got called efficient for.
we were assigned to a group project in science class
and whenever my friend tried to tell the others to quiet down
so they could get on with the work,
she was jeered into silence
and she never found it fair that her boyfriend did
the same thing and the noise stopped.)

4. Girls Shalt Have A Vagina.
(she introduced herself with a deep voice and a gushing smile.
she had a pink dress and an adam’s apple
she had a necklace resting above her cleavage
she had escaped from an all-boys high school
and I didn’t understand until I learned later
gender is more than the two rigid boxes
that we are told to tick one of)

5. Girls Shalt Smile.
(he frowned when the subject was brought up
and he shrugged a lot as he explained
that we look better when we smile. Less hostile.
His shrugs stiffened when I asked him why we shouldn’t look hostile.
‘I dunno,’ he said, dropping to a mumble. ‘Girls aren’t s’posed to look hostile, I guess.’
The next time someone walked past me on the street
and told me to smile,
I gave him my sunniest grin
and a middle finger.)

‘Five Commandments for Being A Girl I Unlearned,’ theappleppielifestyle. (via theprophetchuckshurley)

(Source: theappleppielifestyle, via mythical-crap)

warcrimenancydrew:

eveningoutwithyourgirlfriend:

this will forever be my favorite tweet of all time

forgot the third part: who else should have it NO ONE

warcrimenancydrew:

eveningoutwithyourgirlfriend:

this will forever be my favorite tweet of all time

forgot the third part: who else should have it NO ONE

(via thatdudeemu)

light-through-the-night:

If you were raped, it wasn’t your fault.

If you were hit, it wasn’t your fault.

If you were molested it wasn’t your fault.

If you were abused in any way, it wasn’t your fault.

I don’t care WHO abused you  or WHY, it wasn’t your fault.

It wasn’t your fault.

(via the-uncensored-she)

misandry-mermaid:

trusthim:

So whitemanmarchprotestsigns is trending on twitter and I thought I’d share some of my favorites. Part 1 of 2.

sooooooooo good

(Source: torqueor, via kissing-whiskey)

createdfromclay:

-teesa-:

3.13.14

Anita Hill speaking about her sexual harassment case against Clarence Thomas 22 years ago. 

(via mythical-crap)

casualblessings:

May you find an effective and accessible solution to your problems

(via the-real-goddamazon)

Once you start to speak, people will yell at you. They will interrupt you, put you down and suggest it’s personal. And the world won’t end.


And the speaking will get easier and easier. And you will find you have fallen in love with your own vision, which you may never have realized you had. And you will lose some friends and lovers, and realize you don’t miss them. And new ones will find you and cherish you. And you will still flirt and paint your nails, dress up and party, because, as I think Emma Goldman said, “If I can’t dance, I don’t want to be part of your revolution.” And at last you’ll know with surpassing certainty that only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth. And that is not speaking.

Audre Lorde (via thechocolatebrigade)

(via theblackcommunist)

youngblacksamurai:

trusthim:

Part 2 of 2!

"Started from the top, now we’re here" lol :(

(Source: torqueor, via lavienoire)

upworthy:

Just Made A Rape Joke? Think It’s Edgy? Well Here’s A Truth Bomb.
Comedian Jamie Kilstein thinks we shouldn’t joke about violence against women. That view got him notably shunned from the comedy community; other famous comedians weighed in, called him names, it was a whole thing. As a result, he lost a TV deal, promotional gigs, and friends — all because he said rape jokes are bad.

upworthy:

Just Made A Rape Joke? Think It’s Edgy? Well Here’s A Truth Bomb.

Comedian Jamie Kilstein thinks we shouldn’t joke about violence against women. That view got him notably shunned from the comedy community; other famous comedians weighed in, called him names, it was a whole thing. As a result, he lost a TV deal, promotional gigs, and friends — all because he said rape jokes are bad.

(via nothingman)