"If someone were to die at the age of 63 after a lifelong battle with MS or Sickle Cell, we’d all say they were a “fighter” or an “inspiration.” But when someone dies after a lifelong battle with severe mental illness and drug addiction, we say it was a tragedy and tell everyone “don’t be like him, please seek help.” That’s bullshit. Robin Williams sought help his entire life. He saw a psychiatrist. He quit drinking. He went to rehab. He did this for decades. That’s HOW he made it to 63. For some people, 63 is a fucking miracle. I know several people who didn’t make it past 23 and I’d do anything to have 40 more years with them."

anonymous reader on The Dish

One of the more helpful and insightful things I’ve seen about depression/suicide in the last couple of days.

(via mysweetetc)

"Because lying to your kids about sex helps nobody. Telling them that sex is “only between mommies and daddies” is a lie that leads to confused, hormone charged teenagers. Telling them that sex is “only something that happens when two people love each other very much” is a lie that causes hormone charged teenagers to confuse “love” with “lust,” or “obsession.” It leads to leaps of logic like, “If I have sex with them, we must be in love.” Or worse- “If I love them, I have to have sex with them.” And how many teenage tragedies are based on that misconception?"

— Lea Grover, "We Don’t Play With Our Vulvas At The Table" (via themindislimitless)




which one is it? cos you can’t have both buttons without a lot of cognitive dissonance.

I can’t tell if this is trying to be transphobic or not either? Because I have heard that kind of language going around assuming more “butch” lesbians are actually transgender women and there are a lot of communities that try to drive them out under the Real Woman ideology. Either way, what the fuck.


How We Rescued 2 Chibok Girls, Raped and Left To Die By Boko Haram “- 15 Year Old Boy Tells His Chilling Sory 

15-year-old Baba Goni was part of a vigilante group who saved two of the abducted Chibok girls,raped,beaten and left to die in the bush ..Baba who was once abducted and lived with Boko Haram for 2 years told his story as written by Babara Jones of Mailonline 

Their faces scratched and bleeding, the pitiful remains of their once-smart school uniforms ripped and filthy, the two teenage girls were tethered to trees, wrists bound with rope and left in a clearing in the Nigerian bush to die by Islamist terror group Boko Haram.Despite having been raped and dragged through the bush, they were alive – but only just – in the sweltering tropical heat and humidity. 

‘They were seated on the ground at the base of the trees, their legs stretched out in front of them – they were hardly conscious,’ 

Says Baba, who acted as a guide for one of the many vigilante teams searching for the Nigerian schoolgirls abducted from their school last month by Boko Haram.The horrific scene he and his comrades encountered, a week after the kidnap early on April 15, was in thorny scrubland near the village of Ba’ale, an hour’s drive from Chibok. It was still two weeks before social media campaigns and protests would prick the Western world’s conscience over the abduction.

In the days following their disappearance, rag-tag groups such as Baba’s, scouring the forests in a convoy of Toyota pick-up trucks, were the girls’ only hope.
But hope had already run out for some of the hostages, according to Baba, when his group spoke to the terrified inhabitants of the village where Boko Haram had pitched camp with their captives for three days following the kidnap.The chilling account he received from the villagers, though unconfirmed by official sources, represents the very worst fears of the families of those 223 girls still missing.

Four were dead, they told him, shot by their captors for being ‘stubborn and unco-operative’. They had been hastily buried before the brutish kidnappers moved on.

‘Everyone we spoke to was full of fear.They didn’t want to come out of their homes. They didn’t want to show us the graves. They just pointed up a track.’

The tiny rural village, halfway between Chibok and Damboa in the besieged state of Borno in Nigeria’s north-east, had been helpless to stop the Boko Haram gang as it swept through on trucks loaded with schoolgirls they had taken at gunpoint before torching their school.
Venturing further up the track, Baba and his fellow vigilantes found the two girls. Baba, the youngest of the group, stayed back as his friends took charge.‘

They used my knife to cut through the ropes‘I heard the girls crying and telling the others that they had been raped, then just left there. They had been with the other girls from Chibok, all taken from the school in the middle of the night by armed men in soldiers’ uniforms.
‘We couldn’t do much for them. They didn’t want to talk to any men. All we could do was to get them into a vehicle and drive them to the security police at Damboa. They didn’t talk, they just held on to each other and cried.’

For Baba, a peasant farmer’s son who has never been out of rural Borno, it was shocking to see young girls defiled and brutalised by the notorious terrorists he knew so well.But his own life has been full of tragedy and he told how he had ‘seen much worse’ than the horror of that day in the forest clearing.

A bright-eyed Muslim boy from the Kanuri ethnic group, proud of a tribal facial scar and  nicknamed ‘Small’ by all who know him because of his short, slim frame, he described a happy childhood with three brothers and two sisters in Kachalla Burari, a collection of mudhouses not far from Chibok.
Without electricity or running water, the children spent their days helping on their father’s subsistence farm, planting maize and beans and millet.

One night as he slept in his family’s mudhouse in the village, the gunmen came door to door, looking for informers.

‘I heard some noise, I woke up and saw men coming through the door, shooting at my uncle who was in the bed beside mine.That was the end of my childhood, the end of everything. I saw his body covered in blood, I backed away, and the men turned their guns on me. They grabbed me roughly and took me outside to a pick-up truck.

Baba, telling his story confidently and lucidly, wants to skate over the details of his two hellish years in the Boko Haram camp in Sambisa Forest. Today there are special forces soldiers swarming over the vast nature reserve and circling overhead in surveillance aircraft.
For this slight boy, there was no such worldwide interest as he scurried back and forth at the command of a ruthless gang dug into woodland far from any help or rescue.
He remembers many of them lived with women who had come voluntarily into the camp. He never saw any girls abducted. This latest phenomenon is unknown to him.

 ‘There were many abducted boys, but no girls.We were all scared to death and had to do whatever we were told – fetch water, fetch firewood, clean the weapons.
‘We couldn’t make friends – you didn’t know who to trust. I was made to sleep next to the Boko Haram elders, the senior preachers. I had no special boss in the camp, I was ordered around by everybody.The men prayed five times a day yet would leap on their motorbikes and trucks to carry out killing sprees.I knew they had started out as holy men but now I saw them as criminals, loaded with weapons and ammunition,’

As he got older, he was taught how to use an AK-47, how to strip it down and clean it, and reassemble it.
He could never understand what drove the men. They did not use alcohol or hard drugs, though he sometimes saw them smoking marijuana. They were monsters and he felt convinced they were mad.

‘They were wild, even when they prayed so loudly in groups together, making us join in. They were insane, unpredictable, and always planning their next attack. I never wanted to be one of them.They slept rough every night, just taking shelter under trees in the rainy season,‘We all wore the same afaraja [the Nigerian long shift and trousers] day and night. We washed them when we could. We slept on mats made of palm leaves, out in the open with the trucks all parked nearby, ready for a hasty move if necessary.They made us work hard so it was easy to sleep. I don’t remember crying through homesickness. I think the night when my uncle was killed in front of me did something to my feelings forever. It seems mindless, but I adapted to my life out there.’

Then came the day when he was given a ‘special’ but sickening task. One of the commanders told him he was going on a journey and would be tested for his loyalty to the group.

He brought two of his senior men to stand beside me. He said I would be going with them to my family’s home and I would have to shoot and kill my father.’ Baba had no time to plan. He was sandwiched between the two fanatics as they set off on a motorbike for his village home.
‘I pretended I was willing to do the job. I took the ammunition belt I was handed and clung on as we drove through the rough bush. When we were less than a mile from a nearby village, I threw the ammunition belt to the ground and pretended it had slid out of my hands.
‘They stopped to let me pick it up. Instead, I ran as fast as I could through the undergrowth. I didn’t care about thorns or snakes or anything. They shot at me and I could hear the bullets flying past and hitting the trees, but I was not going to stop for anything. I made it to the village and some kind people let me hide there.
‘The shooting would have been heard by local vigilante groups. I think that is why I wasn’t followed by the men on the bike.’

The next day Baba went home. He saw his grieving parents and siblings for the first time in two years.

‘But I couldn’t stay.I was bringing danger to their door and we all knew it.’

Confirmation of that came when Baba soon heard that vengeful Boko Haram chiefs had put a bounty on his head for his defiance of the equivalent of £12,000 – a fortune in the local economy.

‘I took a bus to Damboa, to report to the youth vigilante group.I wanted to work with them and I knew I was doing the right thing.’

His family, terrified, abandoned their home soon afterwards and today live in a remote part of Borno, rarely seeing their eldest son. He lives with a cousin who is also under a Boko Haram death threat.
He became a valuable volunteer with the vigilantes. He helps man checkpoints where Baba points out members of Boko Haram to the rest of the team.
But he was soon exposed to brutality of a different kind – this time from the government side. He helped to get one of his captors, a man he only knew as Alaji, arrested and handed to the soldiers.

‘It felt good at first, but then they shot him dead right in front of me,’








And finally someone said it

nobody’s fucking stopping you from putting on some foundation dude you can put it on and it’s discrete and other straight guys won’t be able to tell and it does wonders. nobody’s stopping you from moisturizing or even putting on the lightest bits of concealer. don’t worry, other straight men can’t tell

Also there’s less pressure for men to be attractive and more pressure on women to see past men’s looks for their personalities, like look how many movies star average/ugly dudes who still score modelesque girls.

step 1: create unrealistic, unattainable standards of beauty for women

step 2: build a multi-billion dollar beauty industry to sell women makeup, tell them they are worthless without it

step 3: mock and vilify women who wear makeup as vain and fake, mock and vilify women who don’t wear makeup as ugly

step 4: code makeup as exclusively feminine, make the feminine shameful, shame any and all men perceived as feminine

step 5: complain that you can’t wear makeup

all that commentary



Watch Abiola Abrams the documentary How to Lose Your Virginity streaming in July at watch.virginitymovie.com.

Consider how that mentality of hyper-sexualizing black women leads to the complete apathy towards victims of sex crimes who are black women. Yes, it is true that there is a lot of apathy towards sexual assault victims in general, but black women are more often victimized and so often ignored in police investigations and media coverage.